Today, walking with my granddaughter Lilly, a young boy, went riding by us on his bike. I asked her if she wants to ride her bike like him.
Her answer was, “I will fall.”
My response was, “It’s ok to fall; you won’t get it perfect when you start to learn to ride a bike.”
I could see in her the willingness to give it a try when she realized yes, she would have to fall and that it takes practice to learn how to ride her bike.
So what does riding a bike have to do with weight loss?
How often do we find a new diet and get so excited that, “this is the one,” but then it gets hard, we quit and say to ourselves, “this was not the right diet for me.”
It is not the diet that is the problem (just like her bike was not); it is what we are saying to ourselves that has us feeling scared, doubtful or uncomfortable, so we quit.
We set ourselves up to fail ahead of time.
Our brains convince us that it is more comfortable and better to quit. It feels safer, but then where does that leave us? We are exactly in the same place, that is why we start over and over again.
The diet industry helps us in continuing to quit on ourselves because they are so good at convincing us that it is that diet that didn’t work, so “look, here is a better diet that will work.”
They want us to keep looking for another diet, having us believe that we just haven’t found the right food to eat. When the focus is only on the food, that stops us from becoming aware that there is an underlying reason why we continue quit and look for another diet.
Think about it, was it Lilly’s bike that was the problem in her not riding it right now? Does she need another bike to learn how to ride a bike?
It was the underlying reason why she wasn’t riding it.
So if she doesn’t need another bike to learn how to ride, then you don’t need another diet to lose weight.
I want you to start where you are right now, be open and curious, asking yourself what’s standing in the way? When we become curious, that is when we can find the blocks, the things that are sabotaging us so that we can find a solution.
My clients when they work with me, find their roadblock and realize it is not their fault that they continue to yo-yo diet.
Some of the blocks that they became aware of are:
They are emotionally eating, turning to food or alcohol for comfort when they feel stressed, bored, lonely, or depressed.
They have limiting beliefs, such as:
I will never figure this out.
It’s too hard.
I’m not good enough.
I have failed at all the diets I tried.
I will never lose weight.
They are disconnected with what real physical hunger and fullness feels like.
They are confusing emotional hunger with physical hunger.
They don’t know how to stop giving in to their cravings and urges. They think that all they need is more willpower or self-discipline, which is so not the case.
They have thought errors (thoughts they believe to be true but are not) such as:
Its 9 am so it’s time to eat breakfast.
Eating sweets is part of life.
I’ll be left out if I don’t eat with them.
I want to be part of it.
Cooking and eating with my family is love.
All food in moderation.
Life would be terrible without delicious food.
Parties without food or drinks aren’t fun.
Just this once.
It won’t matter.
By identifying and working on their roadblock they no longer need to look for that next diet. This is their last diet!
The most important part of all of this is the willingness to fail over and over, to make mistakes over and over and to be open and curious as to why it is happening so that they then start working on the solution.
If you think that you may have any of these roadblocks and are ready to learn how to get through them so that you can lose weight for the last time, book a strategy call here. On the call, we will work together on setting up steps that are customized for you and if you find you need more support, we can see if working together is a good fit.
Hugs, you are worth it.
Certified Weight, Emotional Eating and Confidence Coach