Steps to Self Confidence (part 3 of 3)

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Many of us try something only once instead of taking the time to practice and learn to do it. Just think of a child learning to ride a bike. How many times do they fall off before they learn to ride that bike. For my children it was a lot of times and a lot of crying but they never gave up and they kept on trying until they got it. They never doubted at all that they could do it, they just did it.


What if they had self-doubt as their thought? They would never have kept on trying. This is what so many of us do when losing weight. We have that self-doubt that we can’t lose it or keep it off so of course we don’t do it.


If self-doubt is a thought you are having about yourself, would you not rather choose to become more self-confident? The way to do this is by choosing to believe thoughts and opinions of yourself are strong, motivated and determined.  Here is a process to help you to increase your confidence.


1 Recognize your self-doubt thinking.
Remember self-doubt will try to trick you into thinking it is true and that it is reality. How to recognize it is by thinking of something you want. For me when I started coaching I had, I want to be an amazing coach.

2 Write down your thoughts.
In step one you picked something you wanted, now you start thinking about it and your brain will come up with a lot of self-doubt and negative messages. Do not believe them, they are only thoughts. What you need to do is write every single thought down.
What came up for me when I thought about quitting being a Registered Nurse and coaching was, It will be too hard or I don’t have enough time, I don’t know how to do it, I am not a good enough writer or speaker, I won’t get clients.
Just notice all the thoughts that come up for you and recognize that this is just self-doubt thinking. Then notice what you feel and do when you think this way.

3 If you are believing these thoughts what do you feel like? What do you do when you feel that way?
You need to understand where your thoughts go so pay attention to your response. Write it all down.
For example, with wanting to be a coach I would do something to sabotage myself. I would find it too challenging, get discouraged, overwhelmed and confused and with those thoughts going on in my mind, I did very little or nothing and then I just got more self-doubt.

4 Choose not to believe the negative thoughts
You now know your thoughts and recognize what they do to you. You can now choose to decide if you want to continue to attach to and believe those thought or change them.
I no longer wanted to believe I can’t be an amazing coach. I no longer choose to believe it but choose to believe nothing different. I no longer choose to believe all that self-doubt thinking. The trick to doing this is you have to fully look at it honestly and decide you don’t want to believe it any longer

5 Decide what you want to believe about yourself.
You now know what you are going to believe, now you need to want to believe it about yourself. When you think about yourself, what do you want to think intentionally? What do you want to think about regarding your dreams and goals and what do you choose to focus on? It is your choice what you tell your mind so what is it going to be? You need to do all this work because any obstacle that comes up will have you doubt yourself or move you away from the direction you want.

Doing this takes work and so many of us think this should be easy. That is only you feeling entitled to believing that “I shouldn’t have to work so hard for it”. No one will do it for you and knowing that, if you want to achieve losing weight or anything else in your life, it does take work . Are you going to let self doubt invite you to quit which will give you a low opinion of yourself or are you willing to put the effort in and do the work?

Know that self-doubt just means you’re growing. All the self doubt coming up is all the stuff that is trying to hold you back but you can choose to overcome it. The bigger your goals, the bigger your self-doubt will be and when you have accomplished that goal you will have the feeling of confidence. It is that confidence that will take you through the next goal you set. Believe that you can do anything because that is the only thing keeping you from what you want. And the only thing preventing you from that belief is self doubt. Self doubt will always come up and be the obstacle trying to stop you. You can choose to get better at giving in to self doubt and taking no action towards your goal or better at overcoming it and getting to where you want to go. You are capable of overcoming your self doubt thoughts that are preventing you from having the confidence you deserve.


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