I have a lot of ah-ha moments when I am with my Grand Daughter.
One that stood out from this past weekend is how children share every feeling they are having. They have no problem expressing their feelings.
I love that!
So why is it that we end up struggling with our feelings? Or feel so disconnected from them.
I know for me it started when I was a child.
I remember when I would be upset, and especially if I was crying, I was told: “It will be ok,” to “stop crying” or”don’t worry about it.” Having this happen, I grew up not having any idea how to deal with my feelings because my feelings were not allowed to be there. They were pushed aside.
So I grew up repressing my feelings.
I realized that the feelings or emotions that I did let out were only the tip of the iceberg, most of what I was feeling was being held down underneath the surface.
So if my feelings were not allowed to be there or when they did come up, what do you think I learned to do?
I learned that the only way to cope with feelings was to eat. I did this because those feeling didn’t feel good, and I didn’t know what to do with that uncomfortable feeling so to make it feel better; food became the solution.
So when my granddaughter was sad and crying instead of doing what I used to do, I responded by sitting next to her. I asked her, “It looks like you are sad,” and “Why are you sad.” Doing this allowed her to be with her sadness; she was able to process what the feeling was and how it felt. From this place, she learned that emotions are not a big deal.
Just imagine if you validated your feelings and then let yourself process them, you would not need to turn to food to cope.
You have to understand that you were never taught HOW TO FEEL but to how NOT TO FEEL. You have spent so many years avoiding, denying or numbing them out because you have no idea how to deal with them.
So if you want to stop turning to food to cope, you must learn HOW TO FEEL your anxiety, fear, sadness, overwhelm, disappointment, grief, frustration; all your feelings. Doing this is how you start to put an end to emotional eating.
I know allowing yourself to be with a feeling can be really uncomfortable, and it might even feel like you are going to die but remember that no feeling can kill you!
I know that this process is not easy and will take time, but you truly can end your emotional eating, I have done it, and so have my clients!
Hugs,
Karen
P.S. I am here for you if you find yourself needing some help in this process, reach out here and book a Free Consult call.
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