Are you saying yes when you wish you said no?
If you find yourself having a difficult time saying no, this might be the cause of your overeating.
To say no, you have to learn how to set boundaries.
So what is a boundary?
A boundary is what you decide ahead of time on what you will do or won’t do.
It is not what others need or have to do.
Boundaries are set not to control others.
Why do we need boundaries?
We need boundaries to make it clear to other people what we will stand for in our lives. They are there to help us decide what is acceptable for us and what is not.
If you don’t have your boundaries set up ahead of time, you will find yourself saying yes way more than you want to.
I know that not being able to say ‘NO” led to me gaining weight. Why? Because not saying no was me not doing what was best for myself, and that led me to overeat.
No is so powerful, but yet so many of us are so afraid to use it. Saying No creates more peace in your life and will have a positive effect on how you eat.
Can you think of some places in your life where you are not setting boundaries or limits in saying “No?”
Here’s how it looks when you don’t say no:
Overeating because you are exhausted that you stayed up late to get a project done that you should have said No to.
Overeating because you resent having to do something you didn’t want to do.
Overeating because of all that you think is expected of you.
Overeating because you deserve it because you’ve been too busy doing everything for everyone else.
When you overeat for any or all of these reasons, it’s because you avoided saying No.
Overeating is you trying to make the situation better for you, trying to comfort yourself with food.
The only way you can end this type of overeating is to set boundaries and then follow through, learning to say NO and be ok with saying it.
We are afraid that if we say no, people will think negatively of us, this is because of our fear of rejection.
We are so afraid of disappointing someone, hurting their feelings, being mad at us, and appearing rude or selfish.
How exhausted, burnt out, frustrated, overwhelmed, depleted are you? How much time do you have for yourself because you fear saying NO?
How much do you think you are overeating because of all of this?
I know for most of my clients, this is a big part of their overeating.
The difficulty in saying No started when we were young. When we were young, we had no problem saying no, but for many people, when they were growing up, they are taught that saying no was being rude or maybe even disrespectful. Saying no was wrong or bad.
So, if you are having trouble saying no here are some helpful tips:
1. Realize that saying no is not anything but looking after yourself. It is not you being selfish, unkind or rude.
2. Understand that it is ok to choose yourself over others at times because you are worth it.
3. Ask yourself if saying yes is the best decision for you, is it worth it? What would the consequences be for you if you didn’t say no?
Start with writing down all the places you can say no right now, where you can set boundaries.
Take a look at where you are afraid to say no or to what people you are so scared to say no to. What are you afraid to speak up and say no to?
Start noticing how all of this, not setting boundaries, is connected to you reaching for food.
It will take practice, so start practicing saying NO!
If you are ready to end your overeating and lose weight for the last time then click here to book a free ‘Lose the Weight’ call. On the call we will find out what has been holding you back and we will then set up a plan so that you can get started to lose weight in a sustainable way.
You are worth it!
Registered Nurse, Certified Weight and Emotional Eating Coach